


Panty and Stocking With Scott Pilgrim

by Baz



Category: Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt, Scott Pilgrim (Comics), Scott Pilgrim - All Media Types, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)
Genre: Affairs, Comedy, Desire, Drama, F/M, Heartbreak, Romance, Seduction, Tearjerker, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3457256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baz/pseuds/Baz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corset wants Ramona Flowers all to himself because he has discovered that Ramona has the greatest sexual power of all time. So, he gets Sex Bob-omb to come to Daten City to perform at a concert outside City Hall.</p><p>The band, along with Ramona and Knives have to stay with Panty and Stocking, so that they can protect Ramona from Corset.</p><p>Meanwhile, Scott and Ramona's relationship is not going too well and Scott is starting to have feelings for Envy again.</p><p>Will the Anarchy sisters protect Ramona? </p><p>And will Scott and Ramona get their relationship back to normal?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First half

PANTY AND STOCKING WITH SCOTT PILGRIM

One day, Corset ordered the Deamon sisters to come to his office, for he had an announcement to make.

“Ladies,” he began. “As you know, I have searched for the woman with the most greatest sexual power of all time. More powerful than that blonde dimwit, Anarchy.”

On the big screen on the wall, he showed the sisters a picture of none other than Ramona Flowers.

“This blue haired bombshell is Ramona Flowers,” he continued. “An American woman who moved to Toronto. She is beautiful, sexy, curvaceous, has fantastic thighs and is all round seductive. And the best part is, she is all those things without even trying. The sex flows through her. This woman is basically sex as a human being.”

This made the Deamon sisters jealous.

“She’s overrated,” muttered Scanty.

Corset had a stiffie and tied some rope around it squeezing it. He moaned with ecstasy as he did so.

“I have been thinking about her for a week,” said Corset lustfully. “I can’t get her out of my head. She is so desirable, that she even had 7 exes.”

“SEVEN!” gasped the Deamon sisters.

 

"And I thought Taylor Swift was bad!" said Kneesocks.

“Ramona's current boyfriend is a lazy bastard called Scott Pilgrim,” said Corset. “He’s around the same age as her. As you know, I have put hidden cameras in every house around the world. Whether it’s to find the perfect woman, finding out who’s been plotting against me or just to peep on women taking a shower.”

Corset pulled out a remote control and pressed a button. On the screen, it showed Scott and Ramona in their house having an argument. It was about Scott not being responsible.

“You never get up in time for work!” shouted Ramona.

“I do set my alarm!” replied Scott.

“Yeah, it does wake you up,” began Ramona. “But when you turn the alarm off again, you go back to sleep and then you’re late for work!”

“It wouldn’t hurt for you to wake me up!” answered Scott.

Ramona just stared at him and just stormed out. Scott felt guilty.

“Ramona! Shit! Ramona!”

 

He then got up to chase after her.

“What an ignoramus!” said Kneesocks.

“Indeed,” said Corset. “This may come as a surprise to you, but Scott used to date someone famous.”

“Who?” asked the sisters.

Corset pressed the button on his remote and Envy Adams appeared on the screen.

“Envy Adams?” asked the sisters.

“Yes, the super sexy Envy Adams,” said Corset. “She was very big on my list. But it turned out she had the 20th most sexual power in the world. Scott still masturbates to her. Observe.”

Corset pressed the button on the remote again and it was recorded footage of Scott and Ramona in bed. Ramona was asleep, but Scott secretly crept out of bed and went down the stairs. He arrived in the sitting and sat on the sofa. He had the ipad with him and turned it on. He looked up sexy pictures of Envy on Google Images. The pictures were of her dressed in sexy dresses whilst posing sensually. Scott began masturbating to them which made the Deamon sisters laugh.

“Sister, do you remember we watched that documentary about the two men who masturbate 15 times a day?” asked Kneesocks.

“Oh yes,” laughed Scanty.

Scott finally came and moaned “Envyyyyyyyyyyy. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh Envyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.”

“So you see, he still has feeling for Envy,” said Corset. “I want Ramona all to myself. And to do that, we have to get Scott back together with Envy again. I want you two to keep those Anarchies away from Ramona.”

“You have our word, Corset,” said Scanty.

“How will you get Ramona to come here?” asked Kneesocks.

“Scott is in a terrible band called Sex Bob-omb,” said Corset. “I will email the manager and tell the band that I want them to perform a gig here. Then I will take Ramona. And coincidentally, Envy will be touring here at the same time as them. It’ll work. Now leave me. The sight of Ramona’s thighs have made me horny. I need some alone time, if you follow me.”

He touched his still stiff penis. The sisters left the office to leave him to it.

 

Scott, Ramona, Wallace, Kim, Knives, Stephen, Neil, Joseph and Julie were on a bus heading for Daten City. Ramona was sitting at the front away from Scott. There was tension between the two of them. Wallace was sitting beside Scott.

“I think this is it,” said Scott. “What if…….. y’know………. she leaves me.”

“Well you fight many battle to be with her, literally,” said Wallace. “You have to be more responsible for your actions. I know I said that to you for years, Scottie.”

Wallace looked a little nervous.

“You okay, man?” Neil asked him.

“I’m gonna meet my pen pal, I’m so excited!” answered Wallace.

He had been writing to a new friend of his on Facebook. They got along nicely and she was overjoyed that he was coming to her home at Daten City.

She invited Wallace and the band to stay at her house during their stay at the city.  

“How’s Scott and Ramona?” Stephen whispered to Wallace.

“Not so good,” Wallace whispered back.

“Did you tell him that you-know-who is coming here too?” whispered Joseph.

“Yes,” answered Scott, giving him another reason to be depressed.

“Look, here we are,” said Wallace.

The bus had arrived at their destination.

The church.

Yeah, I know. Big shocker, innit?

The gang got off the bus and headed for the church.

However, when they arrived, they could hear _this_ going on:

“Motherfucker, you’re leaving your clothes all over the floor! I almost tripped on them coming down the stairs!”

“That would’ve made my day, cum face!”

“Panty, come back to bed.”

“In a minute, my cunt-rag sister won’t shut her fuckin’ mouth. You’re putting me off my fuck hour!”

“What is going on in there?” asked Ramona.

The gang got concerned as they got closer to the house. When the reached the front door, Wallace rang the doorbell.

“PANTY!”

“GARTER I’M FUCKIN’ BUSY! Get it? I’m busy fuckin’!”

“IT’S YO’ TURN BITCH! NOW ANSWER THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ DOOR OR I WILL MAKE YOU GO TO THAT SEX ADDICTS MEETIN’!”

“Mothercuntfucker! ALL RIGHT!”

The gang could hear someone running down the stairs then entering the elevator. The elevator could be heard going down followed someone getting out and walking over to the door.

 

The door opened and it was Panty standing there naked. She looked at the gang.

“What do you cunts want?” she asked. “If you’re Jehovah's Witnesses, fuck off!”

The gang were in shock. Never had they met someone this rude. Except for Julie.

 

Also they were shocked that Panty was naked.

“Hi, pen pal,” greeted Wallace.

Panty looked at him.

“Wallace?” she asked with a smile on her face.

Wallace walked to her and the two of them hugged.

“Ah we meet at last,” said Wallace as he stroked her hair and back. "Oh, your hair feels nice and so does your skin. I want them both."

“My first gay friend,” said Panty. “My only gay friend. Come to think of it, my only  _friend_.”

“You look stunning,” said Wallace. “I want your eyes. Those sexy, sexy, sexy Olivia Wilde eyes. Well, I’m here with my buds Scott Pilgrim, Ramona Flowers……..”

Panty gasped as she looked at Ramona. She was wearing a jacket, mini skirt and had her legs in tights. Her thighs were magnificent. Panty couldn’t stop staring at them.

“Hey, hey, hey Paris Hilton!”

Panty snapped out of it and looked at the ever so rude Julie.

“Are you gonna stand here naked or you gonna let us in?”

“What a cunt,” replied an insulted Panty. “And I thought Canadians were friendly.”

“Except for William Shatner,” said Wallace. "He certainly lives up to his surname."

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Panty told Julie. “You’re a bigger cunt than Katie Hopkins.”

“You take that back, Christina Aguilera!” barked Julie.

“Make me, you four eyed fuck!” said Panty glaring at her.

Stocking then appeared.

“Hi, I’m Stocking,” she said.

She then looked at Ramona.

“Hi, I like your blue hair,” she said.

“Oh thank you,” she said. “I change my hair colour every week and a half.”

“No, keep it,” said Stocking. “It’s nice blue. I think it’s quite sexy.”

Garter then appeared.

“Ah friends. Delighted you could come.”

“Right before Panty,” snarked Stocking.

Everyone laughed. Panty smacked on her the back of the head.

“Come on in, mi casa es tu casa,” said Garter.

Everyone all came into the house. Panty and Stocking looked at Ramona’s thighs.

“Dude, her thighs!” said Panty.

“I know!” said Stocking.

They wanted her thighs so badly.

The gang all took turns going up the elevator and put their suitcases in the sitting room. They felt kind of awkward that this foul mouthed blonde was walking around naked.

“Your sister, does she always walk around naked in public?” Ramona asked Stocking.

“Yeah,” answered Stocking. “She’s always upstairs fucking men.”

There was a long pause.

“Ooooooooo-kay,” said Scott. “Wallace…… where did you find this girl?”

“Well, you know that website ‘Dicktalk’ I go on to every week?” asked Wallace.

“Yes,” said Scott.

“Well, I came across Panty in the forums and……… I dunno, we just clicked,” said Wallace. “You oughta see our conversations.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you name is _Panty_?” asked Julie.

“Is that a problem?” asked Panty.

“What are you are you? A porn star?” asked Julie.

“Actually she _did_ do a porn movie,” said Stocking.

 

"Wait, I thought that I recognized you from somewhere," Neil told Panty.

“I’m not surprised that this blonde bimbo did a porno,” said Julie. “It’s obvious. You’re a ho!”

The gang got a little concerned about who they were staying with.

“Well, I’m a cock magnet,” said Panty. “I can’t help it.”

“Panty, get yo’ clothes on and help these people with their cases,” said Garter.

So Panty went back upstairs, got her clothes on, kicked out the dude she was fucking and helped the gang with their bags.

Outside, Garter was getting the barbecue ready. He brought out the beer, plates, knives and forks.

Everyone all chowed down on burgers and hot dogs as the gang got to know the angels. They found out about the angels’ superpowers and their fights with the ghosts.

 

Knives was asking Stocking about being a goth.

 

"So, you're a goth, but you're not depressed or full of self loathing," said Knives.

 

"I'm not one of those asshole goths who moan about themselves so that they want people to feel sorry for them," said Stocking. "I also don't slide my wrists. No, I'm  a perky goth. I like the look, that's all."

 

Stephen and Kim were looking at Stocking.

 

"She looks like Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony," said Stephen.

 

" _You_ watch My Little Pony?" asked Kim.

Wallace was getting on extremely well with Panty talking about men, penises, the colour of penises……

“Why do a lot of white guys have darker looking penises?” asked Panty.

“It’s because they don’t expose them to the sun,” said Wallace.

Stocking was getting along with Ramona:

“I like your outfit,” said Stocking. “I mean your look is just sex.”

“I never thought of myself as sexy,” said Ramona.

“But you’re sexy without even trying,” said Stocking. “Unlike my ho-bag sister who dresses up all slutty.”

Just then Chuck appeared and started humping Julie’s leg.

“Hey, get off,” screamed Julie as everyone laughed at her.

“I’m sorry, he’s attracted to bitches,” said Panty.

Stocking pulled Chuck off Julie’s leg. Julie looked at Stephen and hit him on the back of the head.

“What is that thing?” asked Kim.

“This little bastard is Chuck,” answered Stocking. “Little rat……. dog……… thing from Heaven that’s immortal.”

“Immortal?” asked Ramona.

“Yeah, watch this,” said Stocking as she took off one of her stockings and turned it into a katana. She sliced Chuck in half with it. The others gasped.

“That’s animal cruelty!” barked Julie. “I’m reporting you to PETA!”

Just then Chuck’s body repaired itself. The others were amazed.

“Ramona, I got a question to ask you,” said Panty. “How the fuck do you get those thighs? They’re so built in.”

“She gets these thighs from eating a lot,” said Julie. “What do you expect from an American.”

“Hey, ponytail, go suck off a horse!” said Panty.

“Is Julie always such a bitch to everybody,” Stocking asked Ramona.

“Yes,” sighed Ramona.

“Daddy issues?” asked Stocking.

“I dunno,” said Ramona.

“Anyway, back to our conversation,” said Panty. “Before some four eyed fuck interrupted us.”

“Why is Julie even here?” Knives asked Stephen.

“She’s the manager,” answered Stephen.

“You poor bastards,” said Joseph.

“So when are you gonna show us the sights?” Wallace asked Panty.

“Later,” said Panty. “We’ll decide on places to see and people to do. My fuck machine is just getting recharged as we speak.”

“Ugh!” said Julie. “You are disgusting!”

“At least men worship me,” said Panty. “Who’d wanna fuck you?”

“She’s got a point there, Julie,” said Joseph.

“Shut up, Joseph!” barked Julie. “At least I’m not a hooker.”

“As for that attitude,” said Panty. “You can stay here and not come with us.”

“Fine,” said Julie. “Another minute with you and my head will explode.”

“You wanna see the car we’ll take you in?” Stocking asked the others.

Panty and Stocking brought the gang down to the garage to meet See Through. They were amazed.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, meet See Through,” said Stocking.

“See Through?” asked Kim.

“Yeah,” said Stocking. “Is there a problem?”

“No,” said Kim. “All these names; ‘Panty’, ‘Stocking’, ‘See Through’, ‘Garterbelt’.”

“You’ll be telling us you’ll have a friend called Brief next,” Neil said to Panty and Stocking.

“Actually Panty does,” said Stocking.

“Yeah, there is someone called Brief around here,” said Panty. “And he’s not my friend.”

“He’s a little ginger shit who has a crush on Panty and keeps stalking her,” said Stocking.

“What have you got against gingers?” asked Kim.

“Nothing,” said Panty. “But there is _one_ red head that I _really_ hate!”

“Who?” asked the others.

“That cunt Envy Adams,” answered Panty.

There was a long pause.

“Er, Panty,” said Ramona. “This may come as a shock to you, but Scott used to date her.”

Panty looked at Scott.

“What? You serious?” she asked.

“Yeah, we went to University together and she was called ‘Natalie’ back then,” said Scott.

“Why did she change it to ‘Envy’?” asked Panty.

“Her initials are N.V.,” answered Scott. “We got along at first, we were in a band together. But then she started taking her music seriously. She got more sexier and more nastier and then became an utter bitch. She dumped me for a dimwitted vegan psychic.”

“Well, you now found someone better and even curvier and sexier,” said Wallace.

“I used to be a fan of the Clash at Demonhead, until I met Envy,” said Knives looking upset.

“And she turned out to be a real cunt?” asked Panty.

“Yeah,” said Knives. “I still listen to her music though.”

“Why do you hate Envy, Panty?” asked Stephen.

“Envy was voted ‘The Sexiest Woman of the World’,” said Stocking. “And Panty was number two.”

“I hate being number two,” said Panty. “It fuckin’ stinks!”

“Anyway, enough yappin’,” said Stocking. “Time to do Daten City.”

“Literally,” said Panty.

The gang got into the car and Panty drove off into the city.

The sisters showed the gang the sights, sounds and people of Daten City. And when I said people, I mean by Panty finding a guy every five minutes and fucking him.

“How does she do it?” asked Kim.

The sisters then took the gang to the ice cream parlour “The White Sticky Stuff”. They had normal bowls of ice creams, but Stocking had a big, MASSIVE banana split. Two in fact. The gang were amazed of how could she eat so much.

“How the hell can that girl eat all of that ice cream?” asked Ramona.

“She’s always eating sugary shit,” said Panty, “She would even eat ice cream for breakfast.”

“If she’s not careful, she could have diabetes,” said Stephen.

“That’s what I told her,” said Panty.

Meanwhile Julie was back at the house, bored. She sat on the sofa in the sitting room and flipped through the channels trying to figure out what to watch. There was nothing on. She then saw some magazines on the coffee table. She lifted them up and started going through them.

She then spotted on that said “The Best of 14 and Under.” Curiously, she decided to look through the magazine and was shocked. She put it back on the table.

Then she spotted another one that said “Altar Boys Weekly.”

“Who would even own magazines like this?” asked Julie.

Garter was peeking around the corner and thought to himself “Shit!”

Chuck then came up to Julie and started humping her leg again.

“Argh! Get off me you…...you…….whatever you are!” she cried.

Garter admitted that he found this really funny because he didn’t like the bitch either.

The sisters then took the gang to a nightclub. Panty promised to find Wallace a man.

The others decided to hit the dancefloor.

“You wanna dance?” Scott asked Ramona.

“No, I’ll just sit here,” said Ramona unenthusiastically.

This upset Scott.

“I’ll just get us a drink then,” he said glumly.

Scott went over to the bar to order a couple of gin and tonics. Both of them are for Ramona.

The bartender gave him the drinks. Scott was about to pay.

“No dude, it’s on the house,” said the bartender.

“Why?” asked Scott.

“You lucky bastard,” said the bartender.

“What?” asked Scott.

Just then, Scott could hear people talking about him.

“Dude, that guy just fucked Envy Adams.”

“That lucky motherfucker.”

It turned out Panty had been telling everyone that Scott once went out with Envy and Wallace had been showing everyone a picture of Scott and Envy together on his Smartphone.

Then a small group of people started coming up to Scott.

“Dude, did you fuck Envy Adams?”

“What was she like, dude?”

“How the fuck, dude? How the fuck?”

“Yes, I did bang Envy, but that was years ago,” said Scott as he looked over at Ramona who just glared at him.

Scott then pushed the crowd away from him and went over to Ramona.

“You’re quite the popular one tonight,” said Ramona. “I’m going out for a smoke.”

Ramona got up and left the club. Scott just sat there depressed.

Ramona stood outside with other smokers and puffed away. Stocking was also outside and joined her.

“You got a light?” she asked Ramona. “I forgot my lighter.”

“Sure,” said Ramona as she took out her lighter and lit Stocking’s cigarette.

“Thanks,” said Stocking as she began smoking. “You okay?”

“It’s Scott,” said Ramona. “I think he doesn’t love me anymore. I think he wants to be back with Envy.”

“How do know?” asked Stocking.

“Well, he dreams about her all the time,” said Ramona. “He mutters ‘Envy’ in his sleep and I checked our Google History on our laptop. Plenty of pictures of Envy are on it. Sure, if I act like a bitch, dress in sexy clothing and grow my hair to Barbarella size, I might have a chance of giving him an erection.”

She looked very upset when she said this.

“Not to mention that he has a history of cheating on his previous girlfriends,” she continued. “See that Asian girl, Knives who is with us, she and Scott used to date and then he cheated on her with me.”

Stocking looked at her.

“And Knives’ current boyfriend is Neil?” asked Stocking.

“Yeah,” said Ramona. “She actually dated Neil to make Scott jealous, hoping to win him back. But they finally became a couple.”

“Good for them,” said Stocking. “Look, Scott cares about you and is worried for you, okay?”

Ramona puffed on her cigarette again.

Back in the club, Scanty was in heavy disguise as a hipster. She went to the gin and tonics that were lying on the bar waiting for Scott. She pulled out a small bottle of transparent liquid and poured some in both glasses. Then she walked away innocently.

Ramona came back to Scott’s table.

“Oh, I forgot the drinks,” said Scott as he got and walked over to the bar. He took the drinks and went over to Ramona. She took a glass and looked into his eyes. Scott took the other glass and looked at Ramona’s eyes.

They just stared at each other for 10 seconds. It was a look of trust. As if they were saying “Let’s put our troubles behind us and have fun.”

They then drank their drinks. Scott squirmed as the taste was horrible to him. Ramona laughed. Then the two of the hit the dance floor.

Later that night, the gang and the sisters came back to the house. Scott and Ramona ran up to the guest room.

They started to take off their clothes and make out. They were feeling really horny for some reason. They didn’t know why. But they had mad passionate sex on the bed.  Scott let Ramona be on top.

In Corset’s office, the evil man was masturbating as he watched Scott and Ramona shag on the big screen.

“Oh my darling Ramona!” he cried. “Soon you will be mine.”

Back in their room, Scott and Ramona were almost to the finish.

And then they came.

Ramona lay beside Scott and put her arm around him. Scott put his hand on Ramona’s back and trailed his fingertips on her skin.

They could hear Panty and another man shagging next door.

“Oh yeah! Oh yeah! Fuck me so hard!” cried Panty with ecstasy.

Scott and Ramona just laughed.

“How are you getting on, Wallace?” asked Panty.

“Well, Hector and I are just going Maximum Overdrive,” answered Wallace.

Scott and Ramona laughed again.

It turned out Panty had found Wallace a man to fuck and all four of them were shagging in Panty’s room.

That night, Ramona had a dream. She dreamt of a handsome man with black spiky hair looking at her. He had his palm out and moved his finger in a “Come to me” way.

Scott also had a dream. It was of Envy Adams in a very small, tight black dress. Her hair covered one eye. She looked incredibly sexy. She looked at Scott suggestively over her shoulder.

“Oh Scott, do you remember the good times we had?” she asked. “I know I’ve acted like a bitch, but I’ve changed. I’ve matured. Please come back to me, Scott. I miss you.”

The next morning, neither Scott nor Ramona talked about their dreams.

Sex Bob-omb had to rehearse in the back garden since they were playing at City Hall tonight.

Yes, their music was even worse than before. Poor Chuck’s head exploded with the sound of it.

Panty and Stocking had their ears covered. Fortunately, they wanted to talk to Wallace in the sitting room. They were glad to out of the band’s horrible tunes.

“We’ll do what it takes to keep those Deamon sister cunts away from Ramona,” said Stocking.

“Thanks guys,” said Wallace.

They then sat down to watch TV. Panty pressed the button on the remote. On the TV it showed Envy Adams and her new band Envious arriving at Daten City airport.

“Grrrrrr!” growled Panty.

Envy was acting her usual diva self, refusing to talk to reporters running up to her and refusing to sign autographs. Just looking at her made Panty’s blood boil with rage.

“And you are performing at Daten City Hall tonight, Ms Adams?” asked a reporter.

“Yes I am,” answered Envy. “And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to meet an important friend of mine. So get out of my way.”

Envy and her band left the airport whilst security backed the reporters away.

“She’s performing at City Hall tonight too,” said Panty. “I’d like to give her a good motherfuckin’ talking too.”

That night outside City Hall, there was a stage for a charity concert. There were many bands as well as Envious and Sex Bob-omb. In front of the stage was an audience of 2000 people. Panty, Stocking, Ramona and Wallace were in the audience.

Behind the stage, the bands were in separate trailers of their own. Sex Bob-omb were getting ready as Julie was nagging them…… about nothing.

Scott looked out of the window and saw Envy was just standing there with a pint of lager and a cigarette. To Scott’s surprise, she looked FANTASTIC. She wore a small, tight, sexy black dress and a big fur coat. Her big hair and high heels made her even sexier. She looked back at Scott and to his surprise, she gave him the “Come outside and talk to me” look.

“I’ll be back in minute, I gotta use the john,” Scott said to his friends as he got up to leave.

He went outside and walked over to Envy.

“Uh, hi Envy,” he said.

“Hello, Scott,” said Envy. “Let’s go somewhere private so we can have a serious conversation.”

She led Scott to the back of City Hall. Then they went inside the elevator.

“Just to let you know, I’m performing in 10 minutes,” said Scott.

The elevator brought them up to the 6th floor. They got out of the elevator and Envy led Scott to a room. She opened the door using the card key and they went inside. Envy closed the door and took of her coat. Then she strutted sexilly towards an armchair. She sat down very slowly and then she began to cross her legs very, very, very, very slowly and very, very, very, very sexilly.

The blood in Scott’s body immediately ran down to his penis.

****_No, no! Please_ , he thought to himself. _Don’t get a boner! Ramona should be the only girl who gives you a boner_.

Scott very quickly sat down on the other armchair and looked at Envy. He too crossed his legs, if you know why.

“Scott, I like to apologize for being a little too harsh on you back in the day,” began Envy.

“Well, that was in the past,” stammered Scott. “We’ve all moved on.”

“But as you know, my relationships had not been successful,” said Envy. “We all know how Gideon turned out. I heard that you and Ramona were having problems too.”

“Oh, er…… we were, but we’re okay now,” said Scott. “Last night…… we…….”

Envy looked at him and raised one of her eyebrows.

“Made love?” she asked.

“Look what are you trying to say?” asked Scott.

“I’m trying to say that I want you back, Scott,” answered Envy. “C’mon. You know you want me back too. You cannot and I mean, CANNOT resist my sexiness, no matter hard you try.”

Scott looked at her.

“The only woman whose sexiness I can’t resist is Ramona,” said Scott. “She’s the only woman for me, hands down."

 

"Your pants?" added Envy with a smirk on her face. 

 

Scott continued.

 

"And if you think that you can break us up and try to get back together so that you can make my life Hell again, you’ve got another thing coming……… _Natalie_.”

Envy looked at Scott.

“You know, Scott,” she said. “It’s a good thing the real Envy isn’t here. She would’ve killed you if you called her that.”

Scott got confused.

“What do you mean the _real_ Envy?” he asked.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME THE SEXY ENVY ADAMS AND HER BAND ENVIOUS!!!”

Scott looked out of the window and saw that the real Envy Adams and her band were performing on stage. Then he looked at the other Envy that was in the room with him. He noticed that her eyes were yellow with green pupils.

He then gasped in horror as her skin started to to turn red and her hair started to turn green. She then appeared to have sharp fangs. It was none other than Scanty.

“Hello Scott Pilgrim,” she said.

“Who are you?” asked Scott.

“My name is Scanty Deamon,” she answered. “I work for the Mayor. My job is bring chaos and domination to this city. It is such a delight.”

“What do you want with me?” asked Scott.

“My boss wants your girlfriend,” answered Ramona. “You see, Ramona has the most strongest sexual power out of anyone in the world.”

“I always knew she was the perfect woman,” said Scott.

“And my job is to ruin your relationship that so that my boss can be happy with Ramona,” Scanty finished.

Scott got up and went over to the door. He tried to open it, but it seemed to be locked. 

“Pilgrim, I have activated this door shut,” said Scanty. “But I will open it in one condition.”

“What?” asked Scott.

“You will have to make love to me,” she answered.

“NO!” barked Scott.

“Pilgrim, you have no choice,” said Scanty. “Either you make love to me or else you’ll never get out.”

The crowd outside cheered as Envy and her band walked off stage. Sex Bob-omb then came on and started to play.

Quite well actually. They were better without Scott. Neil was rocking it on Bass. Women in the audience screamed in ecstasy. Knives gave them all a dirty look.

“Hey, keep away from him! He’s mine!” she ordered.

“You’re his GF?” asked a woman. “Lucky girl.”

Back in Scanty’s room, Scott looked down at the audience and saw that Ramona was looking around. She appeared to be anxious. He had to get to her.

 

He had no choice.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” said Scott. “But I am not going to like it.”

Scanty stood up, walked over to the window and closed the curtains.

 

Then they both started to get undressed.

 

Whereas Scanty was sexually charged, Scott was not.

They got into the bed naked and started to make out.

“You can pretend I’m Ramona if you like,” said Scanty.

“Okay,” said Scott as he started to kiss her and touch her more passionately.

“Kiss my body,” said Scanty.

Scott began to kiss on the breasts and made his way down her belly.

“Oh Scott! Oh Scott!” cried Scanty.

“Oh Ramona!” cried Scott.

The two of them were really going for it. They shagged harder and harder and harder.

Then they came.

“Scott, that was wonderful,” said Scanty lighting a Sobranie.

“Yeah,” said Scott feeling guilty.

Little did Scott know that there was a camera hidden in a teapot that was sitting on the table. It had filmed everything.

Kneesocks was in her bedroom sitting in front of a monitor. She had recorded everything.

Back in Scanty’s bedroom, Scott was putting his clothes back on.

“We should do this again Scott,” said Scanty.

Scott didn’t answer. He had just finished putting his clothes back on and headed for the door. He tried to open it but it was no use.

“Open this door,” he said to Scanty.

But she just looked at him with a rather wicked smile.

“OPEN IT!” demanded Scott. “I’VE DONE WHAT YOU’VE ASKED FOR NOW OPEN THE DOOR!”

“So angry, Scott Pilgrim,” said Scanty. “I like it. You’re becoming red, like me.”

Scanty lifted her Smartphone off the chest of drawers that was beside her. She pressed a button on the phone and small dart fired from one of the bedposts. It hit Scott on the side of the neck. He started to feel woozy. He then collapsed onto the floor. He was out for the count. Scanty cackled evilly.

“Poor pathetic Pilgrim,” she said.

Back outside, Ramona was getting more and more worried. She then had a notion.

“Perhaps he’s gone to see Envy,” she said.

She then started to make her way through the crowd and to the back of the stage. Security guards were there but Ramona, Wallace, Panty and Stocking had access passes to get through.

They walked over to the trailers and had walked past Sex Bob-omb’s trailer where the band inside were pouring glasses of champagne. Stephen opened the door.

“Wha-hoo! We rocked! Ramona! In here! Ramona?”

Ramona stormed her way to Envy Adams’ trailer. Panty, Stocking and Wallace followed her. They could see Envy’s trailer rocking back and forth and they saw silhouettes on the window of her doing it with someone. Ramona gasped. She then walked over to the door and knocked on it.

“Ugh! Go away! We’re busy!” barked Envy.

But Ramona knocked on the door even more.

“Alright! Hold on!” barked Envy.

The door opened to reveal Envy wearing the bed sheet around her body.

“Oh hello, Ramona.” said Envy “What do you want?”

“Scott!” called Ramona.

“Scott’s not here,” said Envy. “Nobody knows where he is.”

“Well, who’s there with you?” asked Ramona.

“My new boyfriend,” answered Envy. “Now piss off.”

Ramona went inside the trailer and saw who Envy’s new boyfriend was.

“Oh hi,” said Brief lying in the bed. He had an erection underneath the quilt.

“Oh I’m sorry,” said Ramona calming down.

Panty and Stocking recognized his voice. They went inside and to their surprise, they saw it was him.

“Geek Boy?” they asked.

“Panty? Stocking?” asked Brief. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re Envy’s new boyfriend?” asked Panty.

“Well, Panty, the thing is I’ve moved on,” answered Brief. “I realized that relationship I wanted to have with you wasn’t going to work. Plus, you were always mean to me.”

Panty looked at Envy in shock.

“You bitch,” she said. “You stole my bitch.”

“Well, well, well,” said Envy staring at Panty. “If it isn’t the girl who called me the “C” word on Twitter.”

“Canadian?” asked Stocking.

“Yeah, well maybe if you were such a fuckin’ diva and being a real bitch to everybody,” said Panty.

“So says the Daten City slut,” said Envy. “At least I don’t go around screwing whoever I want to achieve my goal. This isn’t the middle ages.”

“Who are you callin’ ‘middle aged’, fucker?” asked Panty.

“God, you really are blonde aren’t you?” asked Envy.

“Fuck you, Natalie,” said Panty.

“Say that again,” said Envy.

“Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie fuckin’ Portman!” said Panty.

Envy was about to hit Panty with one of her high heels until Wallace broke up the fight by standing in front of them and spread his arms.

“Well, it’s been fun, but we really must find our Scott,” said Wallace. “Bye bye, Envy. Bye bye, Brief.”

He brought Ramona, Panty and Stocking outside and closed the door.

Panty was fuming over Envy stealing his man…….even though they never had a relationship.

“THAT FUCKIN’ RED HAIRED, FUCKIN’ DIVA, FUCKIN’ ‘OH, AT LEAST I DON’T GO AROUND SCREWING EVERYONE’ FUCKIN’ BITCH, FUCKIN’ CUNTFACED, FUCKIN’ BIG HAIRED FUCKIN’.......”

She went on for a while.

Ramona asked Sex Bob-omb where Scott was. They didn’t know. (or even cared) Ramona was getting more and more worried. Where was he?

“He’ll probably call us,” said Wallace, hopefully.

Ramona sighed. But then she had an idea.

“Call him!” she cried. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

She immediately got out her Smartphone and began to phone Scott.

But back in Scanty’s room, Scott was lying in the bed unconscious and his phone was ringing away. Scanty looked at it and just chuckled.

Back outside, Ramona had tried to call Scott 5 times, but it was no use. She had no hope left in her.

“I wanna go back to the house,” she said.

So, Panty, Stocking and Wallace took Ramona back to the angels’ home.

Ramona stayed awake all night long, wondering about Scott.

The next morning Scott woke up in Scanty’s bedroom. He found out was back in bed with the naked Scanty.

“Sleep well, Pilgrim?” she asked.

“May I please leave the room?” asked Scott.

“Of course,” said Scanty. “You’re free to go.”

Scott got out of bed and went over to the door. He turned the handle and to his relief, the door opened. He left the room and went into the elevator.

Back at the angels’ house, they had a visitor. It was a female reporter wearing a jacket and skirt.

It was actually Kneesocks in disguise. She had black hair and white skin. She even made the horn on her head disappear too.

 

She had some news to tell Ramona.

“Miss Flowers, you’re probably wondering about the whereabouts of your boyfriend,” asked Kneesocks.

“Yes?” asked Ramona. “Do you know where he is?”

“Well the good news is I know where he is,” answered Kneesocks. “The bad news is……….well…….. how shall I put this? I have actually captured security footage of him and put the footage onto this ipad I’m holding.”

She showed Ramona the ipad.

Yeah, I know. security footage on an ipad. Well, this is a fanfic, so shut the fuck up.

Ramona got nervous. But she had to see the footage.

“Show me the footage,” she said. Her heart was pounding and her palms sweated like crazy

Kneesocks turned the ipad on and showed Ramona the black and white CCTV footage on Scott in Scanty’s room doing it with Scanty.

Ramona looked at the footage in horror. Her heart broke into a million pieces. Tears filled up in her eyes and began to run down her cheeks like waterfalls. Her lip quivered like crazy.

Pretending to be sympathetic, Kneesocks lowered her glasses to show Ramona her “I’m so sorry for you” eyes.

“I’m sorry, Ramona,” she said.

Ramona started to hyperventilate.

“I knew he would do this to me!” she cried. “That bastard!”

The band had woken up to see what the commotion was. They had got back here last night by the subway.

Scott was on the subway right now. He wondered about Ramona.

The rest of Scott’s friends and Panty and Stocking saw the footage. They couldn’t help but be sorry for Ramona. Well, except Julie.

Scott finally got back to the house. He went into the elevator and up to the sitting room. When he arrived, he saw that everyone was staring at him with angry faces.

Except for Wallace, Panty and Stocking.

“Scott, I thought you kicked that habit of cheating on your girlfriends!” barked Julie.

“What?” asked Scott.

Kneesocks showed the footage of Scott screwing Scanty. Scott felt like he was going to be sick.

Ramona had come down the stairs with her suitcase packed.

“I’m going back to New York, Scott!” she cried with tears rolling down her eyes. “I’m never coming back to Toronto because of you!”

“But Ramona, that woman made me have sex with her or else she would never let me leave!” admitted a heartbroken Scott. He too had tears coming out.

Ramona smacked him on the face.

“I hate you!” she screamed. “Out of all my exes, YOU ARE WITHOUT QUESTION THE _WORST_!!!”

She was about to enter the elevator, until she turned to face Stocking.

“By the way, Stocking, you were wrong about him,” said Ramona. “He doesn’t care about me! he doesn’t care about anyone!”

She then entered the elevator and the doors closed. It went down. Then Ramona left the house. She cried her way into the street.

Everyone looked at the lip quivering Scott. He wanted to be alone. So he went upstairs and locked himself in the bathroom.

He didn’t notice Garter taking a shower though. He always kept the door unlocked on purpose incase..... well, you know.

Wallace didn’t want to believe it. He knew his best friend like the back of his hand. He went over to Kneesocks.

“Could I have a copy of that footage on a DVD please?” he asked. “I want to study it.”

“Alright, but good luck trying to prove your friend innocent,” answered Kneesocks.

It was a good thing Wallace brought his laptop and recordable DVDs. He never knew when they might come in handy.

So Wallace connected the ipad to the laptop and put all the footage onto there.

I know this isn’t possible, folks. But I said this was a fanfic and a Panty and Stocking/ Scott Pilgrim one at that, so shut yo’ motherfuckin’ traps.

“Pleasure doing business with you, madam,” said Wallace who was putting the footage on the DVD.

“Don’t mention it,” said Kneesocks. “I’ll be off now.”

So Kneesocks left the house leaving behind a curious Wallace, a weeping Scott and his angry friends.

Wallace was alone in Panty’s room. The angels were there with him.

“I call bullshit on Scott banging that woman,” said Wallace. “There has to be a perfect explanation and I need to study this footage to find something.”

“I could help,” said Panty. “I know all about fuckin’. I’m an expert on it.”

“Thank you,” said Wallace. “My two best friends’ lives are at stake and I need my two new best friends to help me.”

The angels felt touched by this. And this the Anarchy sisters we’re talking about here. They decided to study the footage with Wallace.

Ramona was on her way to the airport. As she made her way down the street, she spotted someone familiar. It was the handsome fella she saw in her dream.  

Curiously she decided to go over to him. He looked at her and recognized her right away.

“Ah, Ramona Flowers,” he said. “We meet at last.”

“How do you know my name?” asked Ramona.

“I know a lot about you,” said the man. “I have a lot of things to tell you about yourself that you never knew.”

“Like what?” asked a curious Ramona.

“Well, it’s private,” said the man. “But if we go back to my place, I’ll show you all that you need to know. Shall we?”

He held his opened hand out. Ramona decided to take his hand.

So the man brought Ramona to his car.

It was actually the Deamon sisters’ car. What Ramona didn’t know was that man was Corset in disguise!

They got into the back of the car with Fastener at the wheel. It drove off back to City Hall.

Fortunately for Wallace, Kneesocks only edited out the footage that began with Scott trying to leave the room and Scanty not letting him.

“Wait, who is that?” asked Panty looking at Scanty.

She took a close look at her and realized immediately who it was.

“It’s one of those Deamon sister cunts!” she cried.

“Wait, how come you didn’t recognize her at first?” asked Wallace.

“Well, the footage is in black and white,” answered Panty. “It’s hard to tell what skin colour she has.”

Scott was still in the bathroom weeping. Wallace knocked on the door.

“Hey guy, great news. Come to Panty’s room now. We know you’re innocent.”

Scott got out of the bathroom and went into Stocking’s room.

He got the sisters' names mixed up. So, he went into Panty's room.

 

Everyone was in the sitting room and were looking at the footage on a screen that Garter had brought down.

“Scott was seduced by a bitch called Scanty Deamon,” Garter told the others as he showed them the sisters on the screen.

“Why are they red?” asked Neil.

“Maybe they’re Native American,” answered Stephen.

“God, I hate Americans,” said Julie. "But then, who doesn't?"

“The sisters are actually demons from Hell who work for this muthafucka,” said Garter as he changed the screen to a picture of Corset. “The Mayor of Daten City. He wants Ramona all to himself because of her sexual power.”

“Sexual power?” asked Kim.

“Yeah, apparently, Ramona has the most sexual power out of anyone in the world,” answered Garter.

“That explains her 7 exes,” said Knives.

“I always knew she was a whore,” said Julie.

 

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" asked Kim.

 

"We didn't want to worry Ramona and we didn't think that you would all believe us," answered Stocking.

 

“If my calculations are correct, she’ll be in Corset’s office being seduced by that muthafucka,” said Garter.

“We gotta save her!” cried Scott.

So everyone ran down to the garage and got into See Through. Panty put the pedal to the metal and drove like hell to City Hall.

Meanwhile, the Deamon sisters’ car arrived at City Hall.  

“Hey, my friends and I were here last night,” said Ramona. “This is where you live?”

“Yes, I didn’t want to come down and talk to you because Scott was here,” said Corset.

“Well Scott and I are no more,” said Ramona. “He cheated on me last night, bastard!”

“Well, if I was your lover, I would never do that to you,” said Corset.

They got out of the car and went inside the building. The elevator took them to the very top floor. The Deamon sisters were there too. Kneesocks was in a different disguise. She a blonde wig and a different jacket and skirt, and Scanty was disguised with white skin and brunette hair. She was holding onto a glass of champagne. She gave it to Ramona.

“Take a seat,” said Corset as he sat on the sofa.

Ramona sat down beside him.

“Now what I’m about to tell you will blow your mind,” he said.

He pulled out a remote control and presses a button. The wall that had the big screen on it showed a profile of Ramona.

“You see Ramona,” began Corset. “What you don’t know is that you have the most strongest sexual power out of anyone in the world.”

There was a long pause.

“I have?” asked Ramona.

“Yes,” said Corset. “Why else do you think you had seven exes? No-one can resist you. Scott had his chance and he blew it.”

“Wait a minute,” said Ramona. “Who’s Scott?”

Corset smiled. His plan was working. The drink that Ramona was having had a potion in it to make her lose her memory.

“Exactly,” he said. “Who is Scott? He is a pitiful creature. God’s greatest mistake. An abomination. He doesn’t deserve you, Ramona.”

“Wait, who’s Ramona?” she asked.

Corset smiled even more.

“Wh-where-where am I?” asked Ramona dropping her glass onto the floor.

She felt weak.

“What am I doing here………. what am I………….?”

She collapsed on the sofa and fell asleep. Corset looked at her and stroked her hair.

30 minutes later, See Through had arrived at City Hall and the gang all ran inside. They took the elevator up to the very top floor. It took another 30 minutes.

Finally, after the slowest 30 minutes of their life, they had arrived at the top floor. Panty and Stocking led them to Corset’s office.

Meanwhile, Ramona was waking up on the sofa.

“Er….. where am I?” she asked.

Corset, still in disguise, gave Ramona a glass of water.

“You are home, my sweet,” he said.

“Wha……. I don’t know……..” began an emotional Ramona.

“It’s okay,” said Corset. “You’ve been in a car accident. It caused you to lose your memory. But you are Ramona Flowers and I am Corset, your fiancee.”

“Fiancee?” asked Ramona.

“Yes,” said Corset. “And guess what? Tomorrow is the big day.”

Ramona smiled. She then hugged Corset.

Just then, the door flew open and our heroes came bursting in.

“Alright, dickface. Give us the girl!” demanded Panty pointing her pistol at Corset.

“Corset? What is going on?” asked Ramona.

“They’re intruders,” answered Corset. “Thieves who want to crash our wedding.”

“Wedding?” asked Stocking.

“Yes, tomorrow Ramona and I will wed and there is nothing you can do about it,” said Corset.

Scott then ran over to Ramona.

“Rammy, you can’t marry this guy,” he begged.

“Rammy?” asked Panty.

“Yeah some stupid nickname Scott gave her,” said Wallace. “It’s cute though.”

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done,” Scott pleaded to Ramona. “But I still love you.”

Ramona just stared at him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know you,” she said.

Scott looked at her in tears. He then looked at Corset.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER YOU BASTARD?” he barked.

“I don’t know what you mean,” lied Corset innocently.

He then pressed a button on his remote control and immediately demonic guards appeared.

“Guards, get these intruders out of here, now.”

The guards brought the whole gang out of the office. Scott looked at Ramona.

“Ramona! Ramona! RAMONAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

Ramona just looked at him confused.

The guards brought the gang back into the elevator for the slow ride down.

Scott just stood there with tears coming out.

“Ramona?”

The others just stared at him with sympathy. He then sat on the floor. He buried his head between his legs and just wept. Wallace knelt down and put his arm around him. Everyone couldn’t help but be sorry for Scott. Even the Anarchy sisters.

“This isn’t over,” said Panty shaking her head. “It’s not.”

“We’re not giving up,” said Stocking staring at her katana. “Ever.”

Panty knelt down and stared at Scott right in the eye.

“Scott Pilgrim, you have my word as an angel that I, Panty Anarchy and my sister Stocking Anarchy will get you lady back and defeat these motherfuckers. I promise.”

Scott looked at her with tears in his eyes. He then gave her a hug.

“I just want her back,” said Scott.

“You will,” said Panty.

She looked at Wallace who was also teary, smiling back at her.

“You really are an angel,” he said.

“You bet your fuckin’ ass I am,” said Panty.

 

**  
**

 

 **  
**  
  



	2. The Second Half

Back at the house, everyone all sat in the sitting room trying to figure of how they were going to save Ramona. So far, they had nothing. Their minds were blank. Scott was still despair. He could lose his soulmate forever.

Just then, lightning came from the Heavens and burst through the ceiling. Chuck got electrocuted and collapsed to the floor.

“Your ceiling,” said Wallace.

“This happens all the time,” said Panty. “When we have a ghost to fight, we get a message from upstairs.”

“It’s a real pain in the ass to fix the ceiling, though,” said Garter.

Chuck coughed up a piece of paper that said “Exes”.

“What does ‘Exes’ mean?” asked Stocking.

“Ramona had seven evil exes,” answered Kim.

“But they’re all dead,” said Joseph.

“Perhaps they’re coming back as ghosts,” said Knives.

They all looked at each other.

“If we can’t crash the wedding, maybe they could,” said Stephen.

That night, Corset and Ramona were getting into bed.

“Are you excited tomorrow, my darling?” asked Corset.

“Yes I am, dear,” said Ramona. But of course Ramona wasn’t sure due to her not knowing about her life.

“Get some sleep and tomorrow, we’ll be together forever,” said Corset kissing her. He laid down on his side. He was secretly smiling evilly.

Ramona then laid down to sleep. Tomorrow she would marry a man whom she barely knew.

The next morning, the wedding was being held on top of City Hall. Thousands of guests had been invited just a day before. They were not related to Corset, most of them were there for publicity, booze, food and women.

The wedding was being shot live on every news channel. It was the biggest deal since William and Kate’s first born.

Scott and his friends were watching the event on TV.

Back in New York, Ramona’s family was watching it on TV too. Ramona’s parents couldn’t believe that their daughter was getting married without even telling them and to someone else.

On every news channel, reporters were on the air and talking about the same thing…….. just like William and Kate’s first born.

Corset the groom appeared still in disguise. He was happy as Larry. His plan was into action. However, ever since the incident that appeared in Episode 13, Corset was a disgrace and was deemed an enemy to Daten City. Fortunately, with his new disguise, no-one suspected a thing.

He named his alter ego Andrew Gains.

“And here is Andrew right now and he looks so handsome,” swooned a reporter.

“And I can see Andrew right now and……. oh! Be still my beating heart!” said another reporter dramatically.

Scott was looking at Andrew on the TV with rage.

Andrew made his way to the altar and his best men and the priest were all ready.

Then the bride arrived. Everyone all looked at Ramona walking down the aisle and their mouths dropped open.

“I can see the bride and……… oh………. she looks really pretty,” said a reporter.

“The bride is making her way down the aisle and…….. she’s stunningly beautiful,” copied another reporter.

Scott and his friends couldn’t believe it. Ramona did look AMAZING in her wedding dress. There was a slit on the side of the dress revealing her thighs. The female reporters looked at her in jealousy.

“Her thighs are amazing, I want them!” said a reporter.

“Arguable the best legs since Envy Adams,” said another reporter.

Envy was not too far away from the reporter. She and her band were going to perform for the wedding. Brief was in the audience.

As Ramona made her way down the aisle, she had an unhappy look on her face.

“She doesn’t seem very happy,” said one man.

“Of course she isn’t, she’s getting married,” said his friend. “I got married and that was the biggest mistake of my life.”

Ramona made her way up to the alter. The Deamon sisters were her bridesmaids. The priest began his overlong sermon.

An hour later, the audience, reporters, people watching at home, Envy, her band, the best men and the bridesmaids had fallen asleep. Corset and Ramona were still standing. Corset was bored stiff but Ramona was in deep thought. All throughout the sermon, she had been thinking about who she was, what was she, why was she here, what was she doing and did she want this.

So far, she hadn’t had her memory back.

Scott watched the TV and begged for Ramona to get her memory back.

“C’mon, Rammy. Remember and tell Corset to go screw himself.”

It was time for the big moment. The priest realized that everyone had fallen asleep. This didn’t surprise him. He then got out his megaphone and began to ask the ultimate question.

“ANDREW GAINS, DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN………!”

Everyone had woken up and got ready for the big moment. The priest put his megaphone away.

“.......to be your……. incredibly sexy wedded wife?”

“I do,” answered Corset without hesitation.

“And do you, Ramona Victoria Flowers……..”

When the priest said “Victoria”, something in Ramona’s brain clicked. Although, she didn’t know her middle name, she began to have a whirlwind of blurred memories rushing in her mind.

“........lawfully wedded husband?”

Ramona just stood there confused.

“What?” she asked.

“Shall I repeat the question?” asked the priest.

“Oh…….erm…….” said Ramona clearing her throat. “I do?”

Scott’s heart sank. But he knew that something triggered inside Ramona.

“I now pronounce you husband and super sexy wife……… just think about what she’ll like in the bedroom……… you may kiss each other.”

The newly married couple leaned forward to kiss each other. Corset was eager, but Ramona wasn’t.

Scott couldn’t look. He covered his hands with his eyes.

Ramona and Corset’s lips were about the touch………. until………...

WHOOSH! BAFF!

A big fireball came out of nowhere and hit Corset. Setting him on fire. He and everyone else cried in horror as he was engulfed in flames.

“Argh! And this tux needed to go back tomorrow!” he cried as he dropped and rolled around.

Even worse, the fire was burning his Andrew mask. It began to peel off.

“Somebody put me out!” he cried.

One of the best men grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed him with it.

The fire was put out and Corset though he was okay.

That was until he stood up to face the audience.

“What? Is my face burnt?” he asked.

Scanty gave him a small mirror to look at himself with. He couldn’t believe it. His mask had burnt and everyone could see that he was actually Corset.

“Oh,” he said.

“It's Corset!” screamed a woman in the audience.

“It's a woman pointing at me and screaming my name!” mocked Corset. “Who threw that fireball at me?”

A ghost then rose from the audience. But not just any ghost. It was none other than……

“Who the hell are you interrupting my wedding?” ordered Corset.

“My name is MATTHEW PETAL and I was Ramona Flowers’ first evil ex boyfriend!”

The audience got confused. Ramona didn’t even know who he was. But then she sort recognized him in that hodgepodge of images that went through her mind a while ago.

“Well, MATTHEW PETAL,” mocked Corset. “You’ve had your chance and you blew it. So would you be so kind……”

THWACK! Someone on a skateboard jumped onto top of Corset and sent him to the floor. Corset looked up and saw the culprit.

“What do think you’re doing?” barked Corset. “What is your game?”

“I’m Lucas Lee, skateboarder turned actor,” boasted the culprit. “Ramona’s second ex.”

Wallace was watching on the TV. He swooned at the sight of his crush being alive again.

Back at the wedding, Corset could feel an invisible force suddenly lifting him up. He was lifted 7 feet into the air.

“What the? Who’s doing this?” he asked.

He looked down and saw a blonde man with glowing eyes. It was Todd Ingram.

“Are you Ramona’s third ex or something?” asked Corset.

“Yes I am,” answered Todd..

He was having a fun time lifting Corset up. But then he saw Envy and got distracted.

“Oh hi, Envy,” he said. “You look sexy as always.”

Envy just looked away and said “Hmph!” Corset fell down with a thud. He got up and rubbed his booty.

But then someone kicked him on the back of the head and he fell down. He looked up and saw Roxy Ritcher.

“Oh let me guess, are you Ramona’s fourth ex?” asked Corset thinking it would be a good joke.

“Yes, I am, actually,” answered the girl. “Roxy Richter, at your service.”

Corset looked at her in disbelief.

“Seriously?”

“Is that a problem?” asked Roxy. “You’re not friends with the Phelps family?”

“No no! Definitely not!” said Corset getting up.

Everyone all looked at Ramona and then Roxy. Some of the men in the audience felt turned on by this.

“Oh hot!”

But the Deamon sisters were afraid.

“Sister, a homosexual,” whimpered Kneesocks.

“Don’t let her homosexual germs infect you,” said Scanty.

Corset got up but two men appeared and kicked him on the face bringing him down to the floor. He looked up and saw……

“Let me guess, evil exes 5 and 6?” asked Corset unsurprised.

“Yes, Ken and……”

“Kyle Katayanagi, the Katayanagi twins.”

“You’re twins? I wouldn’t have guessed that,” said Corset sarcastically.

He got up and was expecting to be hit by a newcomer. Thankfully for him, the final visitor just walked up behind him. Corset turned around and saw…….

“I take it you’re the seventh evil ex,” he said.

“And the leader of the league,” said the newcomer. “Gideon Graves, music producer.”

“This just in, the bride Ramona Flowers is indeed a bona fide slut!” said a reporter to her camera.

“ _Seven_  exes! She puts Taylor Swift to shame,” said the other reporter.

“Do you work for the Anarchies?” Corset asked Gideon.

“No,” answered Gideon. “But we’ll fight them off if they arrive.”

“So I take it you’re going to fight me to get Ramona back,” said Corset.

“Yes,” said Gideon.

Corset looked at him best men.

“My ropes.”

All of Corset’s best men threw the end of their ropes at him. He tied them to his arms. His best men pulled on the ropes tightening them so that he could grow muscles like in Episode 13. His jacket and shirt tore off to reveal his muscular torso.

“If you want my new wife, you’ll have to get past me!” said Corset.

“Okay then,” said Gideon as he took a pen out of his jacket pocket.

He clicked and instead of the top of the pen, a very long thin sword came out.

The whole audience all started to escape. But the reporters wanted their cameramen to keep filming.

Corset threw his first punch, but Gideon jumped out of the way, dodging it as it smacked Corset in the face with the pen sword. It hurt Corset bad. He tried to hit Gideon again, but he was just too fast and he hit Corset more times in the face.

The Deamon sisters got out their weapons and were ready to face the other Exes. Matthew Petal was floating above them shooting fireballs. Scanty dodged the fireballs and just fired her pistols at him. He dodged out of the way.

Lucas Lee was skateboarding around the altar knocking down the demon best men.

Kneesocks was fighting Roxy Richter. Kneesocks’ scythes vs Roxy’s sword.

“I’m planning to destroy San Francisco soon!” said Kneesocks.

Todd Ingram was more interested in Envy.

She and her band were trying to escape, but Todd caught her in his psychic powers.

“Where do think you’re going, Envy?” asked Todd as he brought her over to him.

“Todd, I will never forgive you for what you did to me,” said Envy. “Besides, I met someone else.”

Todd looked at Brief who was standing not too far away from him.

“This ginger freak?” said Todd. “He will never top me, he has no vegan powers.”

But little did Todd know that behind Brief’s back, he had a slingshot and a piece of food. Whilst Todd was busy holding Envy up in the air with his psychic power, Brief aimed his slingshot at Todd’s mouth and fired the piece of food at him. The food ended up in Todd’s mouth.

Whatever it was, he ate it and really liked it. He swallowed it and looked at Brief.

“Hey, that was really good,” he said. “What was that?”

“Chicken Vol Au Vent,” answered Brief.

Todd’s psychic power had stopped and he dropped Envy.

“Uh-oh,” he said.

Two green lights shone on Todd.

“Not again,” he said.

“Well, well, well, it isn’t Blondie,” said the first Vegan policeman pointing his finger that had a green laser coming out of it.

“Looks like it’s time for a Veganizing ray again,” said the second policeman also with a green laser coming out of his finger.

But before they could fire Todd, he stuck his fingers down his throat and made himself sick. He vomited out the chicken vol au vent onto the floor. Everyone looked in disgust and said “Ugh.”

The vegan police looked at him.

“Er, okay. You’ve learnt your lesson,” said the first policeman.

“Just don’t do it again,” said the second.

And with that, the two of them ran off.

Todd looked back to where Envy was, but it appeared that she and Brief had gone.

They had took the elevator down to the kitchen.

In the kitchen there was a lot of beef, pork and chicken for the wedding guests. Todd won’t go anywhere that has meat.

“Thank you,” said Envy.

“You’re welcome,” said Brief. “Don’t worry, Envy. I’ll protect you.”

Envy looked at him.

“You can call me ‘Natalie’,” she said.

“Okay, Natalie,” said Brief.

She then looked into his face.

“Could I see your eyes again,” she asked.

Brief took her by the hand and he placed it on his fringe. She moved his hair out of the way revealing his beautiful eyes.

“They’re beautiful,” she said.

“ _You’re_ beautiful,” he said softly.

The two of them looked at each other. Envy stroked Brief’s face with her hand. They brought their faces close to each other and then they kissed.

Their kissing got more passionate and then they started touching each other. Envy began to unbutton Brief’s shirt and Brief began to slide off Envy’s dress.

Back on the roof, Ramona was watching all the fighting and she began to have memories of the evil exes. She started to remember meeting each of them and dating them. And how those relationships didn’t work due to her selfishness.

She felt disgusted at herself. It was _she_ who caused the evil exes to be who they were now.

She hated herself. More than anything in the world.

She watched Scanty try to fire at Matthew Petal, but the Katayanagi twins grabbed her by the arms. She couldn’t get away.

This meant that Matthew had a clear shot at her. He fired his fireballs at Scanty. Her whole body was set on fire. She screamed in pain.

Kneesocks was still fighting Roxy and she could hear her sister’s cry. She looked over and saw Scanty on flames.

“SISTER!” screamed Kneesocks.

She then felt Roxy sticking her sword in through her chest. Black blood oozed out of her. She was brought to the floor. Roxy pulled out her sword and Kneesocks laid in a pool of her own blood.

Roxy wiped the blood off her sword onto Kneesocks’ dress.

Corset saw that his two daughters were murdered. This made him lose his confidence. Gideon then stuck his pen sword into Corset’s eye. The pen sword went past his eye and through his brain.

Corset coughed and spluttered as he was brought to the floor.

His body laid there and there ropes that tightened his arms loosened. His muscular torso was back his skinny self.

The Evil Exes had won.

Ramona stood there looking at them.

The Exes then went over to Ramona and just looked at her.

Ramona knew everything.

Everything in her life.

The good times and the bad times.

Her mistakes and what she’d learnt from them.

How she met Scott and how she discovered that they’re not so different.

And how Scott made mistakes that really annoyed her.

But how he would always win her back with his redemption.

And how he wanted to redeem himself because he loved her so much and couldn’t be without her.

How he fought like Hell to be with her.

Absolute Hell.

And how he won her over with his love.

His love for her.

His love for her made her happy.

Ramona was happy to be with Scott.

She needed him back.

But right now she was confronted with her evil exes staring at her right in the face.

Her worst nightmare come true.

That was until, something shot the Ken on the back of the head.

This was accompanied by something slicing across his body.

“No!” cried Kyle in horror.

“Avenge me, brother!” cried Ken as he exploded.

The rest of the exes turned around and saw who caused it.

It was Panty with smoke coming out of her pistol, Stocking with her sword ready for more slicing action, Scott who was worried for Ramona and the rest of the gang; Wallace, Knives, Kim, Stephen, Neil, Joseph and Julie were all here.

All of them had weapons. Scott had his Power of Self Respect Sword (that he always kept incase that anything like this should happen), Knives had her daggers, Kim had her drum sticks, Stephen had his guitar, Julie had a baseball bat, Joseph had a hurling bat and Wallace had a whip, that Garter gave to him. He was kind of suspicious of him. After those magazines he found in his room.

Kim had brought Ramona’s bag with her.

“Scott Pilgrim,” said Gideon evilly.

“Gideon Graves,” said Scott. “We meet again.”

“I see you brought protection,” said Gideon looking at the angels.

“Ramona always wanted me to take precautions,” said Scott.

Gideon’s army and Scott’s army both looked at each other.

They gave each other death glares.

And then.

They charged toward each other.

Matthew Petal floated 6 feet in the air and began firing fireballs at Knives, Stephen and Joseph. But they dodged out of the fireballs’ way, martial arts style.

Stocking and Roxy clashed swords together.

“Looks like Cirque du solei has hit town!” said Roxy.

“Look who's talking, you look like an evil Care Bear!” replied Stocking.

Panty was about to fire at Lucas Lee, but Todd caught her in his psychic wave. He brought her over to him.

“Hey, babe, you’re hot,” said Todd. “We’re both blonde. That’s one thing we have in common.”

“Hey, Ingram!” said Lucas. “I saw her first. She had her eyes on me.”

“Well, you’re both hot…...and musclar,” drooled Panty. 

Stocking saw that her sister was in trouble, so she threw her other katana at Todd and Lucas like a bomerang and it sliced across their bodies. Panty was free from Todd’s psychic grip. She landed on the floor and shot at both men. They exploded.

“Shame,” she said. “I actually wanted to fuck them. Imagine what psychic fucking must be like. And that other dude looked like Captain America."

Wallace threw his whip around Kyle tying him up. Kim had her drumsticks ready. She shook them and like nightsticks, which caused them to grow long. She then started hitting Kyle with them.

“Is this the first time you ever beat off a man?” asked Wallace.

“You got that from Panty, didn’t you?” asked Kim.

“Yeah I did,” admitted Wallace. “Hey, where’s Julie?”

“She’s gone to find Envy,” said Kim. “What an ass kisser.”

Actually, Julie was in Corset’s office looking up his computer. She was trying to find footage of Scott so that she could blackmail him……….. for no reason at all. Just because she’s a bitch.

She found footage of Scott masturbating to Envy. She knew that this was gold.

Back on the roof, Scott was in front of Gideon.

“We meet again, Pilgrim,” said Gideon with his pen sword at the ready. “Like my new invention? You know that phrase ‘The pen is mightier than the sword’? Well, I decided to put two and two together and invent this because I am a genius.”

“Yeah, well my ‘Power of Self Respect’ sword is a lot mightier, Mr Not-so-high-and-mighty!” boasted Scott as he rose his sword and began fighting Gideon.

But Gideon was far too quick for him. He did a swipe kick and brought Scott to the floor.

“Your fighting is about as bad as your banter, Scott!” laughed Gideon.

Stocking was still fighting Roxy. Matthew was still up in the air shooting fireballs at Knives, Joseph and Stephen. Panty shot at Matthew in the head. He was held in mid-air in a very dramatic way.

“Stockin’!” yelled Panty.

Stocking threw her other katana at Matthew again like a bomerang. It got stuck into Matthew’s chest.

“Allow me to say my final words,” began Matthew as he took a deep breath dramatically. “I………”

BOOM! He exploded.

“What a fuckin’ drama queen,” said Panty.

Kyle still tied up, managed to grab onto the whip and toss Wallace out of the way. He then untied the whip and started to walk forward toward Kim.

“I bet you enjoyed being in that cage that my brother and I put you in,” he said.

“Stockin’!” yelled Panty as she pointed her pistol at Kyle.

“Jesus!” cried Stocking with frustration as she kept getting distracted from her fight with Roxy. She threw her katana yet again and it got stuck onto Kyle’s head.

Panty then shot him between the eyes.

“I’m coming, brother,” said Kyle as he exploded.

Panty then pointed her gun at Roxy and shot her in the tits. She held her tits as she knelt to the floor.

“You shot me in the boob!” she barked at Panty.

Stocking stood in front of her, ready to slice her in half.

“Wait, before you kill me,” began Roxy. “Promise me that you won’t let that bitch destroy San Francisco!”

She pointed at Kneesocks’ body on the floor.

“You have my word,” said Stocking.

Roxy then closed her eyes.

“I’m ready,” she said.

SLASH!

Roxy exploded.

There was just Gideon left and he was just beating the crap out of Scott.

The others all stood in front of them. Gideon looked at them and laughed.

“Oh, Scott, look,” he said. “Your pathetic friends are all here to support you. Well, tough shit, because Ramona has lost her memory and has no idea who you all are.

Kim secretly went to up to Ramona and gave her the bag. Ramona looked at it and a big flood of memories came back involving that bag.

“And since Corset did a fantastic favour of removing Ramona’s memory,” said Gideon. “I will take Ramona and make her mine. She will have no memory of what I did to her in the past. And now, being a true American, I have to take out some Canadian trash!”

He rose his pen sword, ready to impale Scott. He brought his sword down toward Scott.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” screamed Scott’s friends.

The sword was ready to impale into Scott’s chest.

And then……….

CLANG!

A big hammer whacked Gideon on nuts from behind. He cringed in pain.

All the men cringed in pain.

From behind Gideon, it was Ramona holding a huge hammer between his legs.

“She got that from her bag?” asked Stocking.

“She’s a like a fuckin’ badass version of Mary Poppins,” said Panty.

Gideon held his stinging nuts and knelt to the floor. Then he projectile vomited onto the floor. Everyone groaned in disgust.

Panty and Stocking looked at him.

“REPENT, MOTHERFUCKER!”

BANG!

SLICE!

“Like any horror movie villain, I’ll come back!” screamed Gideon.

KABOOM!

He exploded.

All the exes were gone.

The church bell rang.

There were coins left over from the exes. The angels picked them up.

“Funny, these coins look different from the ones Scott usually get when he killed an evil ex,” said Stephen.

“These are the Heaven coins we told you about,” said Panty.

“If Ramona knew to how to use her bag,” began Scott. “Then that means……”

He looked at Ramona hopefully. She smiled.

“Yes, Scott. I got my memory back,” she said.

Scott was so happy. He ran up to Ramona and they hugged tightly. Then they stopped hugging and looked at each other.

“Rammy, I know I screw up all the time,” began Scott. “But I will stop being lazy and arrogant from now on. I love you so much, Ramona. And I can’t bear to be without you. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have…….”

Ramona then said “Shh” and put her finger on Scott’s lips.

Then Scott put his hands on the back of her head and then they kiss. Everyone cheered.

Panty and Stocking also felt happy. Scott and Ramona walked over to them.

“Thanks guys for helping me get Ramona back,” he said.

“I kept my fuckin’ word, didn’t I?” said Panty.

“I know you two are foul mouthed bitches and are possibly the worst role models of all time,” began Ramona.

“Stop, you’re making me blush,” said Stocking.

“But I know that deep down……...er, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY deep down, you actually do care,” finished Ramona.

“You’re welcome,” said the angels.

“Now it’s your part of the bargain,” said Panty.

“What is it?” asked Ramona, slightly fearfully.

“Tell me…….. how…… did…….. you…….get…….. those……...THIGHS!” cried Panty.

“Oh, erm, I’ll tell you back at the house,” answered Ramona.

They looked at the Deamon sisters still lying on the floor. Scanty was badly burnt and Kneesocks had lost a lot of blood. Corset was still lying there, unconscious.

The angels walked over to the Deamon sisters.

“This is it,” said Scanty. “Goodbye, my dear sister.”

“It’s been a pleasure being your sibling,” said Kneesocks.

The two of them held hands.

“Go on, Anarchy,” said Scanty. “Strike us down.”

The angels looked at them.

The Deamon sisters closed their eyes, awaiting for the angels to strike them down.

“Hello, Demon hospital. I have 3 demons here that are very badly injured. They’re on top of City Hall. Okay, bye.”

The Deamon sisters opened their eyes. They looked up at the angels and saw that Panty was just on her Smartphone.

“A helicopter will be here to pick up you three,” said Panty.

The Deamon sisters looked at them in surprise. They couldn’t believe that their arch enemies actually did this to them.

Then the Anarchies along with Scott and his friends left the roof.

The gang got into the elevator and it took them down to the bottom floor. Nobody said anything on the way down.

“If the Deamon sisters are your arch enemies, why did you help them?” asked Knives.

Panty and Stocking looked at her and shrugged.

“Dunno,” they said.

They were just as puzzled as anybody.

The elevator arrived at the bottom floor. The gang made their way out of the building. Brief and Envy were outside waiting for them.

“Is it over?” asked Envy.

“Yeah,” said Scott.

“I see you’ve got Ramona back,” said Envy. “Not that I care anyway. I’m just glad that Todd Ingram can leave me alone.”

“Good thing you told me about his veganism,” said Brief.

“Yeah, well, you have one thing he doesn’t have,” said Envy.

“What?” asked Brief.

Envy put her hand on Brief’s knob. She then looked at Panty.

“Your ex-boyfriend is quite an animal in the bedroom,” she said.

“Fuck off,” said Panty. “He was never my boyfriend.”

“Yeah, yeah,” said Envy. “Well, there’s my limo. I’ll see you losers next time.”

She grabbed Brief by the hand and brought him to the limo.  

“Bye guys,” called Brief as they got into the limo.

It then drove off.

“What a cunt,” said Stocking.

“Yeah,” said Panty.

They didn't mean that in an angry way, but more of an admiringly way.

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	3. The final part

Scanty slowly opened her eyes.

She found herself in hospital bed. Her entire body was wrapped in bandages. She looked to her left and was relieved.

Her sister Kneesocks was in a bed beside her. She was connected to a blood bag.

“S-sister?” asked Scanty.

Kneesocks slowly woke up and was surprised to find herself in hospital. She too was relieved to be beside her sister.

“Sister,” she said in delight.

“The Anarchies kept their word,” said Scanty.

“But why would a pair of self centered, foul mouthed, good for nothing’s help us?” asked Kneesocks.

Scanty looked at her.

“They’re angels, my dear,” she answered.

After a while a demon nurse came in and told them how they got here. She also said that Corset was in a room of his own.

Corset had to have an operation on his eye and his brain. He was doing okay.

Back at the angels’ house, Ramona was giving Scott the time of his life. The others were in the sitting room and could hear the incredible sex that was going on upstairs in Scott and Ramona’s bedroom.

“How long have they been at it?” asked Stocking.

“A good five hours,” answered Wallace. “Well, when you thighs like Ramona………. I remember when Scott was dating Ramona for the first time, he kept having dreams about her. We would sleep in the same bed and Scott would always…….”

“Wait, you guys both shared a bed?” asked Panty.

“Well, we lived in a crummy place and didn’t have that much money, so yeah,” answered Wallace. “Anyway, Scott would always have dreams about her and would often grab me in his sleep. He would say to me ‘Oh Ramona, you’re so sexy’ and instead of waking him up to stop it, I would let him think I was Ramona. Plus, I kinda liked it. I do miss Scott humping me with his boner.”

Meanwhile, Julie was in her room on her laptop with the file she stole from Corset’s computer. She uploaded the file on a USB stick and was putting it on her laptop. She uploaded the video onto her Youtube account and titled the video “Some Freak Jerking Off To Envy Adams”. She had an evil grin on her face as she was going to humiliate Scott once and for all.

Scott and Ramona were still having it off when Ramona’s Smartphone rang. They groaned in disappointment. Ramona answered it.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Ramona, this is Scanty Deamon. The Woman who seduced Scott.”

“Oh,” said a concerned Ramona.

“It wasn’t Scott’s fault,” said Scanty. “I wanted to make love to him and I got my sister to disguise herself as a reporter to frame him. Anyway, I just want to say that I’m sorry and that I’m grateful that the Anarchies called an ambulance to save us.”

“Er, okay. I’ll let them know,” said Ramona.

“Au revoir, Ramona,” said Scanty as she hung up.

Kneesocks looked at her sister. Scanty had a look of disgust on her face.

“I can't believe I said that we were grateful to our enemies!” groaned Scanty.

“I think we need a couple of vomit buckets here!” cried Kneesocks to anyone who was listening.

Scott and Ramona were about to continue having sex, until there was a knock on the door. They both groaned with frustration. Ramona got out of bed naked and went to answer the door. She opened it and saw that it was Julie.

The bespectacled bitch looked at Ramona’s naked body.

“Get dressed and come down to the living room,” said Julie. “I got a video to show everyone.”

Ramona and Scott got dressed and went downstairs to join the rest of the gang. Julie had connected her laptop to the TV. She was about to show everyone the video she uploaded. The video had received over 5 million views! Julie stood there looking at everyone else with a smirk on her face.

“Ladies, Gentlemen and whores,” she began as she glared at the Anarchies. “I have uploaded a video on Youtube, which has received 5……. no wait…….”

She looked at the screen and saw that the number had changed.

“7 million views,” she continued. “It is a video of a dimwitted schmuck masturbating to Envy Adams.”

She glared at Scott.

“I will now play the video so that we can all laugh at this poor effer,” she finished as she clicked onto the play and the video began.

Back at the hospital, Kneesocks realized something.

“Sister, you know that file ‘Scott Pilgrim masturbates to Envy Adams’?”

“Yes?” asked Scanty.

“Well, I got it mixed up with another file,” answered Kneesocks. “It doesn’t feature Scott Pilgrim at all.”

“Well, who is it?” asked Scanty.

Back at the house.

“Julie, are you sure you’ve watched the video before uploading it?” asked Ramona.

“I don’t need to watch it,” answered Julie. “I know what it consists of.”

“Well, it doesn’t consist of Scott,” said Panty smirking.

The others began to smile as they continued to watch the video. Then they looked at Julie.

“What?” she asked.

She looked at the TV. And to her utter horror, she saw herself in the video masturbating to a magazine with Envy in it.

“Oh Envy! Oh Envy!” she cried in ecstasy.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” screamed Julie.

The others roared with laughter. Julie looked at them, furiously.

“Well you wanted us to laugh at the poor ‘effer’,” said Panty. “And that’s what we’re doing.”

Julie stopped the video, unhooked the cable and ran upstairs humiliated. The others all continued to laugh uncontrollably. Tears were coming out in waterfalls.

At Envy’s hotel room, she and Brief were in bed watching the video on her ipad. Envy couldn’t believe it.

“So that’s why Julie kept kissing my ass all the time,” she said.

Back in the hospital:

“Kneesocks, who has the weakest sexual power in the world?” asked Scanty.

“I believe it was a woman called Julie Powers are something like that,” answered Kneesocks.

“With a sexual power that weak, that would cause anyone to be a real ignoramus,” said Scanty.

The next day, Scott, Ramona and the rest of their gang were packing up as they had to go back home.

“Thanks for everything, Panty and Stocking,” said Wallace.

“Anytime, Wallace,” said Panty. “I’ll send you a message on Facebook later.”

“Not if I send you one first,” said Wallace.

“The next time we meet, could we spar," Knives said to Stocking. "My knives against your……. stockings?”

“It’s a deal,” said Stocking.

Everyone was ready to leave and go down to the bus station. Julie walked past Panty and Stocking.

“Well, Ms Powers, I must say, you have the most viewed video on Youtube,” said Stocking.

“How many hits has she got?” asked Panty.

“About 20 million,” answered her sister.

They roared with laughter. Julie just glared at them.

“@%£$ you two!” snapped Julie as she walked away to join the others. “This has been the worst two days of my life!”

“How come neither one of them says ‘Fuck’?” asked Panty.

“Canadians really are that nice, I guess,” said Stocking.

Ramona and Scott walked past them.

“Goodbye, woman with the strongest sexual power and the awesome thighs!” called the angels.

“Goodbye, you foul mouthed, sex obsessed, gluttonous bitches,” said Ramona with a smile.

The angels laughed as they took that as a compliment.

Scott and his gang all left the church and waved bye bye to the angels.

Panty and Stocking went back into the sitting room. They just sat there on the sofa. It seemed very quiet without Scott and his friends.

Just then, Panty got a message from Facebook. She looked at her Smartphone and it was from Wallace saying “Told ya.”

Panty smiled.

But the message continued:

“PS. Chuck has followed us down and won’t let go off Julie.”

At the gates, Julie had Chuck stuck to her leg as he humped her like crazy.

“Get off me you stupid….. whatever you are!”

The others all laughed.

END

Clap, clap. clap your hands!

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